5 things you aren't told before you become a parent!

Hi, welcome all.

Today i'm going to be writing about things we aren't told before becoming a parent. I can bet you will relate to at least one or two of these!

1. The Anxiety

Now this is i feel is such an important one. I have never suffered more with anxiety than i do now as a mother to 3 little people, who rely on me to care for them, love them, feed them and keep them safe and protected. It is a hard thing to talk about, and to live with some days. Some days i feel like it can take over my life, it can take a hold of me and i won't want to leave the house, in fact i probably won't want to do anything but i'm unable to hide away until it rides over, because i have 3 little boys who depend on me, who i have to put a brave face on for and pretend i'm okay. But it does get better, i do still have some really good days and the anxiety, i will just let it ride over me and i will pretend it isn't there! Never forget that if you have ever felt like this or worse, there is always someone you can talk to, someone that will listen and that is what really helped me and does help me, is talking about it because it is nothing to be ashamed of at all. 

2. The Rush Of Love

This is one of the best things, that rush of love you get deep inside of you, when you are sat watching your child/ren, whether they are sitting just watching television, or sitting playing with a toy or when they run up to you and give you the biggest cuddle. When they wrap their little arms around you and tell you they love you, it's then you think to yourself that you must be doing something right if my child loves me this much! Yes you are told about that gush of love when you first hold them, but you aren't told about how that love grows, how it makes you feel inside when you just look at them or when they lovingly look over at you and give you their biggest smile. I can honestly say that i have never felt true love like it until i first met my babies, the moment they were placed onto my chest, the moment they took their first breath, the way they looked at me and i new then that my life's purpose was to raise these 3 little humans into the best possible version of themselves. They gave my life true meaning, and i will forever be grateful to have them, and to watch them grow up.

3. The Changes To Our Bodies

Now i won't go too much into this because i plan to write a whole separate piece on this one, but i just want to give a little in site into it because this is definitely one of the things you are not told about. 
You can't wait to first see that bump growing, to feel the first kick..but some of us also experience change to our bodies that we aren't ready for, or maybe we are, but it can still come as quite a shock to some of us.
No one tells us about the new or newly added stretch marks, the stretched skin or the sticky out veins that take over our legs, our growing breasts which are now aching with every move or slight knock. But also those few pounds or stones that we gain or lose. 
I suffered with awful sickness with my boys, it got worse with each one, and i remember i did start my pregnancy off losing at least 1 stone but then as soon as that sickness passed i sure made up for not being able to eat & i gained quite a bit of weight with each one. At first i would tell myself to go easy on myself because i'd just carried a whole little human for 9 months but the guilt of those few extra pounds always got to me, i wanted to lose the weight, i hated what i saw in the mirror, i hated all those saggy bits of skin but i honestly wish i could have gone a bit easy with myself because my body was and is amazing for carrying 3 beautiful children, for allowing me to give birth naturally each time, getting me through every painful contraction, i know now that i should have been more grateful to it, but i have gotten there in the end. Today and these past few months i have learned to love the body i am in. I have tried to find something i love about it, i know that it did a wonderful thing for me and it does everyday, so appreciate your body, even though it is hard, i totally understand how hard it can be to look in the mirror and hate what is looking back but even if we try to appreciate just one thing about it at a time, it can help get you there. 

4. The Mum Guilt

This is one that i definitely wasn't told about but it does exist, just this morning dropping my little one off to school, he looked at me with tears in his eyes and told me he was going to miss me, and that is when that horrible feeling of guilt hit me. I didn't want to send him in and just leave him there feeling like that but deep down i new that as soon as i was out of sight and he was inside with all his friends he would probably forget and get on with his day..this still didn't help the feeling of utter guilt i felt. 
When they are peacefully asleep at the end of the day and you're sitting there gazing lovingly at them and it hits you and you suddenly ask yourself "am i doing enough?" "could i be a better parent?" "will they resent me for shouting at them for something silly?". The love i feel for them in those moments, it is like no other, i tell myself i'll be the best version of myself i can be and i will try my absolute best to keep them protected from as much of this world as i can. The wondering if you could There is so many things we feel guilty about as parents and i don't think that will ever go away. 

5. The Postpartum Part Of Pregnancy 

This is one i feel is so important, because it didn't hit me hard until after having my 3rd. I was absolutely fine after having my 1st and 2nd baby, i didn't suffer from baby blues or postpartum depression or anything like that...it was only when my 3rd little boy reached 7 months old that i started feeling very down, i was experiencing horrible thoughts and my anxiety reached a whole new level. I immediately spoke to my GP because i new what i was feeling wasn't normal, i couldn't sleep, i was constantly feeling sad and crying and some days i just felt like i didn't want to be here, but i am glad to say now i have came along way from then and i am getting on so much better! I must give credit to my partner, he was the biggest help, he was there for me to talk to, to cry to and to support me, but also took on a lot more & i will forever be grateful to him because he listened to me and he was my rock, he didn't judge me, he held me and helped me heal. But also to my family, who always have supported me and gotten me through it. I am so grateful to be surrounded by these amazing people. 

 I was finally diagnosed with OCD (Obsessive Compulsive disorder) it felt good to have a label on what was wrong with me but also it felt scary and i decided to learn a bit more about it and i definitely understand it a lot more than i ever have. When people hear OCD they probably think it has something to do with cleaning and being obsessed with being clean, but it is so much deeper than that and it is a lot more common than 1 would think. The best thing i ever did was reach out for help and it felt like a huge relief when i opened up to people and spoke about my true feelings, it felt good to be listened to, so i urge anyone and everyone if you've ever felt like this or feel like you're struggling, reach out because there is always someone that will listen! 

I really hope you enjoyed reading a little bit about my experience of things you aren't told before you become a parent. I absolutely enjoyed writing this and sharing my thoughts on each topic, from my point of view. There is so many good and bad things that we aren't told about but we do eventually learn!
Until my next one...

Goodbye teacakes 

Emma xox