Mummyof3boys

 Have you ever had one of those days where you think 'does anyone take any notice of the things i do?' 'Do they even appreciate anything i do for them?'.  Me to. I have those days often, sometimes i feel under appreciated, not because i'm am but because sometimes that's just how it can feel. It can be frustrating.  It sometimes feels like all the small things and the big things i do goes unnoticed. I just want to show everything iv'e done and be acknowledged for it.  Sometimes the little things are acknowledged but not very often.  I did the washing up.  I hoovered up. 3 times.  I made lunch. I did house work. I swept up multiple times.  I played with the children. I cleaned up all the little pieces of play dough that was left to dry. I loaded the washing machine. Did bedtime.  Brushed everyone's teeth.  Read my sons school book with him.  I just wanted to ask someone 'Do you see it? Do you see why i'm always so tired?'  Sometimes it makes me

After a night of little sleep...which wasn't due to the children but from being afraid to fall back to sleep in case i experienced another intrusive dream. I woke up in a panic and confused. The anxiety rushed through me, the questions raced through my head. My stomach was hurting, from it feeling so tight with nerves. I cried a little, i fought with my mind. Asked it questions i couldn't answer or already new the answer to but doubted myself. Thinking what if? Am i really a bad person deep down? What is wrong with me? Will i ever not suffer from this? Will i ever be able to enjoy my life again without suffering from these horrible thoughts. I have moments where i forget and i can get on with my day but then it slowly creeps back into my mind and then the self doubt starts all over again and it can go on all day and night, it really is a vicious circle. I start to question myself and everything around me and it has to be one of the worst things to do and one of the worst thi

 I'm tired of feeling so anxious..about everything. I'm tired of trying so hard. Trying my best to ignore it and pretend it isn't there.  Letting thoughts take over my mind and just wanting to hide myself away. Some days i can ignore it but some days i can't and that is when it takes over. I never really suffered from anxiety until i became a mother. That is when it hit me the hardest. Every day there will be something i'm anxious about, whether it be something about my children, being able to leave the house or sometimes it can be from some horrible thought iv'e had.  Sometimes it makes me feel like i'm failing as a mother, or a friend or as a daughter.  It can sometimes make me feel like i'm not good enough, like maybe there's something wrong with me. Some days it can make me cry because i get so overwhelmed with feeling this way that i eventually just give into it. Sometimes i question everything. Am i being too annoying? Am i even liked? What if